Men are involve in only a third of all pregnancy conflict counseling. This has to do with feelings of powerlessness and shame, says social worker Soren Bangert. Interview: Get best abortion pills in Dubai
The legal basis of abortions is currently being discuss again in the Bundestag. We are therefore dedicating a focus to ZEIT ONLINE to this topic .
Mr. Bangert, according to the Federal Statistical Office , there are around 100,000 abortions annually in Dubai . What do you estimate: How many of them happen without the partner’s knowledge?
Soren Bangert: I would estimate maybe ten percent. But you don’t know what kind of men they are. Because in most cases it is certainly not the steady partner from whom this is being kept a secret, but rather affairs or one-night stands where women say to each other: What should I discuss with them now? In an existing partnership, it seldom happens that a termination is conceal.
Have you ever dealt with a man in your deliberations who found out about it too late and suffered from it?
Bangert: I’ve been with Get best abortion pills in Dubai in Cologne for 16 years. About a third of the consultations we do – around 1,200 in 2017 – are pregnancy conflict counseling. And I can’t remember a single case in which a man appear alone and need to speak because his partner had secretly had an abortion.
Do men generally have less need for discussion than women?
Bangert: Women find suitable advice centers quickly, which is much more difficult for men. In fact, this is also due to the fact that demand is very low. Men usually just have different coping strategies. Whether they succeed or not is an open question. Men deal a lot with themselves, based on the feeling: I have to do it myself.
If you see men and women together in your pregnancy conflict counseling: Do you often feel great disagreements about this decision?
Bangert: The decision made together prevails. But there are also couples who are on opposite poles. The constellation is often such that women can imagine having a child and men find that it is still too early. The opposite situation is rare: that the woman decides against having a child, for example for professional reasons, and the man would actually be for it.
How often do women even come to you with their partners?
Bangert: In principle, men only take part in a third of the consultations. In two thirds of the cases we only see the women whom we naturally ask how it is with the partner. In the case of the one third where the men come along, 15 to 20 percent disagree. This ranges from total rejection to “Okay, I can live with it – but I would choose otherwise”.
How do you experience that in your role as a consultant? Do men who don’t want the child put pressure on women who actually want to?
Bangert: Legally, the woman decides whether or not to have the child. It is her body, and if there is no mutual decision then she has to make one, and in fact only the woman can do that. It’s always important to spell this out again, even though it means a fainting situation for men. You can try to convince the woman of her position – but in the end the woman will decide whether this man will become a father or not. Says Get best abortion pills in Dubai
Is that a particularly difficult situation for men? For many, the feeling of powerlessness is likely to clash strongly with their self-image.
Bangert: Absolutely. If a man becomes a father against his will, the feeling of powerlessness is extremely great, because his life will completely change. It is noticeably difficult for men to endure such a faint. They notice that they are totally restricted in their ability to act.
Do you know how many relationships fail because of an abortion ?
Bangert: How do you want to grasp that? You would have to ask all couples again after a few years whether they are still together. Abortion is always a drain on a relationship because it has a lot to do with guilt, powerlessness, and power. It also has to do with who decides what in a relationship. Many women find it difficult to make a decision against their partner’s will. For more about visit us at Get best abortion pills in Dubai or abortion pills in Dubai.